Ah, the Irish. World-renowned for their gift of the gab, a culture steeped in wit and wordplay, and a knack for leaving you wondering if that was a compliment or a gentle dig. If you've ever been on the receiving end of a raised eyebrow paired with, "Ah sure, it'll be grand," you'll know exactly what we mean.

Irish phrases are a linguistic labyrinth where what’s said and what’s meant are often entirely different beasts. "Honest Irish phrases," you say? Well, honesty is a flexible concept in Ireland, a land where "I'll just have one" is rarely true, "I’m not one to gossip, but..." definitely heralds a scandal, and "Stop the lights!" could mean anything from disbelief to outright admiration.

In this essential guide to Irishisms, we break down the quirks of the Irish lexicon for those who haven’t yet mastered the fine art of interpreting a loaded "grand" or the very loaded silence that follows "Whatever you think yourself." It’s part translation manual, part survival kit, and wholly entertaining. So grab a cuppa, settle in, and prepare to unlock the mysteries of Irish honesty—it’s a little slippery, but sure isn’t that half the craic?

We've compiled a list of nine of our favorite phrases Irish people use when being brutally honest. Are there any we've missed?


"You don't know your arse from your elbow"

Meaning: You're not the most intelligent person I have met in my lifetime.

"If there was work in the bed, you'd sleep on the floor"

Meaning: You're quite lazy.

"If ye aimed for the priest you'd miss the parish"

Meaning: Your aim is very bad. You should retire from whatever sport you're playing.

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"Show your father what you're wearin'!"

Meaning: I'm not sure you should go out on the town in a skirt that short.

"You're talking through your hat"

Meaning: You don't seem to be fully worded in the topic you are talking about.

"I couldn't give a sh*te"

Meaning: Said thing is not high on my agenda of priorities.

"I wouldn't ride her into battle"

Meaning: She is not the prettiest girl in the world.

 "You'll be late for your own funeral"

Meaning: Your timekeeping skills leave a lot to be desired.

"I will yea"

Meaning: I definitely will not go out on a date/ help you move house/ lend you €50 etc.

* Originally published August 2015, updated in Jan 2025.