Eight ways not to ask for directions in Ireland

What, in the name of God, are you trying to tell me!?iStock

Irish people are famous or infamous for giving directions, especially when the road signs leave a lot to be desired.

Here are eight beauties of direction giving we have come across:

Driver: Can you tell me the road to Connemara?

Local: Ah sure, no need, everyone knows the road to Connemara.

Driver: How do I find Murphy’s house?

Local: Do you see that house up there, the second one on the hill with the high chimney and the children outside playing and the woman hanging out the washing?

Driver: I do.

Local: Well it’s not that one but if you pass by it about a mile beyond turn left you’ll likely find it.

Driver: Can you show me the road to Killarney?

Local: Well if I was you I wouldn’t start from here anyways.

Driver: Can you tell me where O’Shea’s House is?

Local: Well you’re on the right road but if you pass the graveyard you’ve gone too far.

Driver: I need to get to Jim O’Brien’s house, by the rectory.

Local: Well take you first left, right? Then take the second right and bear to your left. It’s right in front of you on the left.

Driver: Do you know the way to Killarney from here?

Local: I do... (keeps walking)

Driver: Excuse me do you know the way to the football field.

Local: I do and I don’t.

Driver: Err? What do you mean?

Local: I only know the old way before they dug it up for the motorway, shure I get lost myself now.

Driver: Can you tell me the way to Cork from here?

Local: Ah, sure if I was you I wouldn’t bother going you are miles away.

A few years ago the Irish comedy trio, Foil, Arm & Hogs, hit the nail on the head with this video: