An Irish mammy is a special breed, especially at Christmas.
She worries double as much as usual, buys way too many gifts for the grandkids and has countless tins of biscuits "just in case the neighbours pop over."
But we wouldn’t be without her, no matter how much she does our head in at times. Only an Irish mammy could juggle making a dinner for 12, keeping the house spick and span and remembering to buy a bottle of wine for the binman.
Yes, our mam really makes Christmas and what would she be without her one-liners?
Here are some gems you’re bound to hear coming from your mother’s mouth (or even your own!) over the Christmas season.
1. You can have it for Christmas
The moment October begins you won’t be getting anything from your mam until Christmas day. Whether you need a new jumper or your toothbrush could do with a change your mammy says that it can ‘go in the Christmas sock’.
No matter how old you are!
2. Don’t eat that, it’s for Christmas
Every time you go and visit your mammy she has bought another sumptuous treat. From boxes of crisps, to fancy cheeses and Pâté, each new thing will be more delicious than the last.
But got forbid you try to dip into something before Christmas day itself, you might lose a hand in the process!
The same rule doesn’t seem to apply to the grandkids though! Not sure what that’s about.
3. That flew in
Calendars, they’re mad, aren’t they?!
4. It might snow, y’know
No, it won’t, it’s eight degrees out.
Read more
5. Eat that strawberry creme before you go into the next layer
No matter how unappealing the last chocolate is on the top layer, don’t you even think about breaking into the next until someone has forced it down. Being overly full is a Christmas tradition though, isn’t it?
6. Will I make a salad?
When mammy gets to the stage of ‘God that dinner was awful heavy wasn’t it, I couldn’t possibly eat a sambo,’ the eggs get boiled, the beetroot gets taken out and the leftover mash gets salad-ified for a classic ‘Irish Mammy Salad’ or as it is often known – a cold dinner.
7. Ah, would you not go to mass?
No matter how old you are, mammy will always gently guilt trip you for not saying hello to Jesus on his birthday.
8. Why the Lord did you spend that much on me?
An Irish mammy is the only person on Earth that can turn the joy of Christmas gift-giving into an argument because you spent TOO MUCH on the fancy perfume or earrings you got her.
The cheek indeed!
9. Ah, would you not clean up your bedroom?
I’m home for three days over Christmas with three kids all living out of a suitcase but sure, I’ll clean up my childhood bedroom that we are all sharing.
10. Thank god that’s over, I’m not doing it again next year.
But they will do it next year. And they will complain about it again.
*This article was originally published on RollerCoaster.ie.
Comments