Dear MTN, I am 39, divorced for 5 years to a verbally abusive man. Recently I started dating someone and he's been extra mean to me. We have three children together so I have to have some contact with him. Well lately he has gotten so bad that I had to tell him he wasn't allowed in my house anymore. He has to pick up the kids at the front door. I thought he would go crazy. He was like a wild man screaming and cursing at me that I just hung up the phone. The next night he came to pick up the kids, he walked right in! I couldn't believe how rude and disrespective he was to walk right by me and enter my home when I just told him last night he is no longer allowed in. As he was walking out, I softly reminded him to drop off the kids at the door. Of course he yelled something disgusting to me, right in front of my children. Sure enough, when he dropped them off, he actually tried to come in saying he had to hold my son's bag and that it was too heavy for my son to carry. I took the bag and walked him outside so my kids couldn't hear me. I asked him what he was thinking and that NEVER again will this be tolerated to come inside my house. He just cursed again and walked away. Please MTN, do I have any legal rights here to keep him out? What should I do to make sure he doesn't come into my house anymore. He is a very verbally abusive man and I get physically sick when he does these things to me. Thank you for any help you give me. - Patty Dear Patty, This is a very common problem for divorced women to go through when they get divorced from a verbally abusive man. It is all about control with him. He is trying to upset you, so my best advice to do first, is to not let him upset you. Remember you divorced him. You don't have to deal with him anymore. Yes you also have the right to decide who came come into your home. It's your house, not his. I recommend calling him and trying to see if you can simply say that next time he tries to enter your house you will call the police on him. You didn't mention this, but I would bet money you already had an order of protection on this man when you divorced him. If that's the case, calling the police and telling them your ex-husband keeps coming into your house when you've asked him not to, will be pretty easy to get your rule in writing, and if he choses to ignore it, the police will take care of it from that point. The bottom line is, if you don't let him upset you, you're driving him crazy. He is only doing this to make you crazy, so give him a taste of his own medicine. When a verbally abusive person sees that what their doing isn't bothering the person, they usually give up. I suggest you enjoy this new man in your life and only focus on the good things. Do not let this man get you down. You are too good for that. Good luck! - MTN Dear MTN, I am a 46 year old man who is very successful and just never had time for marriage. Lately I started feeling lonely and I realized I needed to make the time to find someone. I met a lovely gal named Sarah who is 31 years old. We've been dating for over a month now, and so far we haven't had sex yet. Things have changed so much since I used to date in my 20's. I remember having sex after one or two dates with girls. I'm sure you hear this question a lot but, when is the right time to have sex? I don't want to bring this up to her until I get your advice. Thank you so much, and I really enjoy reading your column. - Brad Dear Brad, Thank you for writing in and I appreciate that you enjoy my column. Your question is a tough one, since there are so many variables that depend on the answer. You're right though in that times have changed. Girls are no longer as quick to jump into bed with a guy like they did 20 years ago. Nowadays with all the diseases out there, you really have to be careful. Also, girls are smarter now, and realize they don't have to "give it up" to keep a man, like once thought years ago. The timing has to be right. When it comes to having sex, each women is different. Usually women tell me they only feel comfortable having sex with a man when it's not having sex-when it's making love. Having said that, do you love her? If so, I think it's okay for you to bring up the subject, make sure you bring up the fact you love her first. As for me personally, the right time to have sex is xxxxxxxxxxxx (sorry my pen ran out of ink!) - MTN Please send in your questions to [email protected]. Thank you again to all my readers! Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH