Hello my readers! Thank you all for the great letters! They are quite interesting, I must say! Dear MTN, What is with the girls these days. I met a girl in my local hangout. Once she walked in, I told my friends, she was mine. She was hot, not just really hot, but smok'n hot. She's 30, and I'm 28, and I'm fine with that. I bought her beers the whole night. She came with a friend who left early since we obviously were getting along so well. After a couple of hours, we were all over each other. She said she had to go, since it was getting late, so I asked her for her phone number, and told her I would walk her to her car, being the gentlemen that I am. At first she said I didn't have to, but I insisted. In my head, I'm thinking we could spend more time together in her car, since I have a corvette and it's too small to really "hook up". Then all of a sudden she walks towards this big MiniVan. I was like, "what the hell is that?" I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin the mood. So goes to open the front door to get in and I asked her if we can go in the back and talk a bit. She was fine with that. So we're in the back and I'm suddenly thinking "these minivans are great, since they have so much room." We're kissing and things and I feel something under my head and pull out a teddy bear. I was like, "this girl has a kid." So I came right out and asked her. She said she's divorced and has a 5 year old kid. Now I have nothing against kids, but I am looking for girl without kids. My question to you is, why didn't she tell me in the bar and be honest. I never would have asked for her number. Now what do I do? -John Dear John, There are certain questions that are rude to come out and ask someone you have just met, for example: how old are you, do you have kids, what religion are you, or anything to do with sex or politics. So I understand why you didn't ask her in the bar if she had kids. Should she have told you? Yes. But she knew what would happen if she did. You'd go off looking for another girl in the bar to talk to. She probably liked you and figured if you got to know her a little more, maybe you would be okay with the fact she had a child. But now you'll never know. If you are sure you wouldn't want to date someone with kids, don't call her. But I think you should think about this subject very carefully. At your age, 28, unfortunately you will be meeting many girls who have kids. If you're going to play in the bars, you have to be ready for the lies and games that people in there play. Many of the people in the bars looking for love do have secrets, and you probably won't find them out for about six months...MTN Dear MTN, I've been going out with this girl, Sandy, for about a month now. We started off all hot and heavy. In the past month, we spent almost every night with each other. Everything is great. She's attractive, smart, and loves sex - who could ask for anything more, right? Well I took her out for Valentine's Day for dinner, and later that night as we were having sex, she tells me she loves me...MTN, I am not ready to say I love her, it is way too soon. I like her a lot, but not love. I didn't say it back, I was just silent. Now since then our relationship has dwindled. I still want to see her but just not talk about love yet. She seems annoyed and distant. What should I do? -Pete Dear Pete, That's actually a common problem when you start off a relationship so hot and heavy. That's why the experts will also say, take it slow...All you need to do is talk to her about this. It sounds like neither of you have attempted to bring up this subject yet. Now is the time. Just tell her all the great things about her that make you "like her a lot", and that when you get to know each other more, hopefully you will love her. Then sit back and listen...hear how she feels. She is probably embarrassed that she said it first. One of my rules is (Girls, never say you love the guy first. You have to wait till he says it first.) Hopefully she can accept how you feel and continue on your relationship. I also suggest that you take it a little slower now. Good luck to you. MTN Dear MTN, Are all cops cheaters? I've been dating Ryan, which is his real name, so hopefully his wife reads your column, for about 8 months. We saw each other about 4 times a week because of his crazy work schedule. Or so I thought. I thought it was strange when he told me he lived with his sister, to save money to buy a house, and that's why he couldn't bring me there, because he's embarrassed that he lives there and not on his own. I believed him, stupidly. When we were together, it was fantastic. He told me right away he loved me and always talked about the future with me in it. Then one day I ran across an old friend of mine, who is also a cop. I asked her if she knows him. She said she does and that his wife is due to have a baby soon. I almost fell flat on my face when I heard that news. I called him and left him a message never to call me again. How could someone do that? Do you think I should tell his wife, or just let it go? -Mary Dear Mary, I am so sorry to hear about that player you got involved with. I would bet you met him either at a bar or on the Internet. While his wife was pregnant, she probably couldn't or didn't want sex, and that made him stray. He's a typical player, for sure. Maybe even a sex addict. He is the lowest of low. But telling his wife, who is also pregnant, would do no benefit other than to give you satisfaction. I say, don't go down to his level. If he's cheated on her once with you, he'll probably cheat again, and eventually get caught. His wife never did anything to you, so I don't suggest you hurting her. She unfortunately needs to find out on her own. As for all cops being cheaters? That's ridiculous. It sounds like he's not the first policeman you went out with who had someone else. Just because of that, you can't lump all the cops into the category of "all being cheaters". You might have to take a good look at yourself and see why you keep attracting unavailable men. Remember, opposites attract, but they are the worst for you. You need to find someone who is compatible with you, and who shares the same interests. So stay away from the place or places where you keep meeting these types of men, and think of something that you always wanted to learn and take a class on it. You'll have much better luck finding a man who is also compatible with you in the class. You should also ask right away, "why isn't your wife taking this class?" and hopefully he'll tell you the truth if he's married or not. Best of luck to you. MTN Please email your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson is Long Island's most successful Matchmaker with over seven years experience and over 700 success stories. For more information about her check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com or call her directly at 1-888-31-MATCH.