Dear MTN, I am a single guy who just turned 50. No, I am not gay. I just freeze when I meet woman. I get myself so nervous that I don't know what to say to them when I first meet them. I took your advice a few weeks ago about how to go about meeting woman, and you were right. So now I need help with step two. What do I say to them? What are they looking for? Do they want a guy who has money, a guy who is nice, a guy with a good sense of humor? I really need to know from you, what's the most important quality a girl is looking for in a guy these days? - Larry Dear Larry, I'm glad my first advice worked for you. I'm even happier to hear that you are open to hearing about a step two. That shows me that you really are trying to make the effort to find the right girl. The key to a girl's heart is really subjective. Unfortunately, I can't just give you a magic answer to this question, because every girl is different and has different needs. It depends upon the personality of the girl you are interested in. So first I suggest, find a girl that you seem to have things in common with and then focus on her. Find out as much about her and her personality as you can. If she is shy, then she is probably looking for a guy with a good heart, and who can make her laugh. If she is a business woman, she is probably looking for a guy with intelligence. If she is sweet, probably she is looking for a guy with a heart of gold. So again, once you learn her personality, you will have a better idea on what it will take to impress her. But remember, what she is looking for, needs to be your true personality. You cannot be someone you're not. Be yourself, and find a girl who's personality fits yours. Good luck! MTN Dear MTN, What is with these girls these days. It's like any little thing bothers them and you can't make a mistake. I took a girl out to dinner the other night and I thought we were having a great time until the TV at the restaurant came on to the Presidential election. Now I know not to go too heavy into politics on a first date, but all I said was, "this is so crazy that the two democrats are making such a huge debate amongst themselves, and it really should be the democrat verse the republican making the huge debate. This election is going out of control." She didn't really answer me, which I didn't know if it was that she didn't follow politics, or had no interest in politics, but let's face it, Politics is an important topic these days, and I am looking for someone who at least has an opinion on it, even if it is different than mine. The next day I called her and thanked her for a lovely date, which of course I paid for everything, and she said that she didn't think we were right for each other because she feels I'm much more involved in Politics than she is. I made one comment, which I thought was appropriate since it was being shown on the TV. I really trust your opinion, is she as nuts as I think, or did I make a big mistake and try to apologize? - Ed Dear Ed, Unfortunately you broke one of my top ten rules on a first date, and you even know you did. You never, NEVER talk politics on a first date. Hearing how serious she was about it and that she is willing to never see you again for bringing it up does seem a bit extreme to me. Yes, you made a mistake. But an apology should be able to correct it. I have a feeling with this girl, that she's already made up her mind. I say, learn from the mistake, and move on. There are many other girls out there that are looking for a great guy who enjoys Politics. Just let them find out on the second date that about you. MTN Dear MTN, I am sick of the bad boys. Every where I go, I find them, or they find me. I can be in the gym, in a supermarket, in a bar with my friends, on a walk, at the beach, or even on a date. They come up to me and approach me with these lines that I seem to fall for every time. For the first month or two, they are the best guys in the world. Once we have sex, that's it. No more phone calls. If I call them, they don't pick up. All of a sudden they fall off the face of the earth. I even asked the last guy straight out, was it because we had sex? He just gave a lame excuse that the relationship was going too fast, and he wasn't looking for a committed relationship. He told me we needed a break and he'd call me in a few weeks. Of course, I'm not holding my breathe. What is your opinion, do you think that guys say they want sex, but don't actually want it? Or are all guys crazy these days? Thanks for your help. And ps, I love your column and read it every week. -Sue Dear Sue, I'm glad you enjoy my column, but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. I think on this topic, you need to stop looking at these and all guys as crazy, and take a better look at yourself and your behavior. Guys have told me many times, they love the chase, and need the chase, but once the chase is gone, then there's nothing else to look forward to. My advice on this subject is (for my children-wait until marriage), for my readers, wait until you are both in love with each other. If you have sex too soon, you don't know enough about the person to continue the excitement of the relationship. After sex, there has to be a foundation to fall back on. In your case, once you "give it up", there is nothing left. You need to find out why you think you need to have sex so soon with these guys. Is it because you think you need to to keep them interested, if that's the case, that guy isn't worth it. Any guy can get sex anywhere. Believe it or not, that's not what they want. They want to fall in love with the girl first, and then have the intimate relationship. I suggest you even talk to a therapist to find out why you jump into bed with a guy so fast. Once you start slow and steady, and get to know the guy first and establish a solid foundation first, you will see sex as making love, and they won't be falling off the face of the earth. They'll be doing back flips for you to have it again, and hopefully, again and again. MTN Please email in your questions to MTN to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson is Long Island's most successful Matchmaker with over seven years experience and over seven hundred success stories. She covers the entire NY Metro area. For a free consultation on her service call 1-888-31-MATCH. For more information on Matchmaking, look up Mtnmatchmaking.com.