Dear MTN, Hi, my name is Lisa and I'll only be in New York for a couple of weeks. I would really appreciate it if you could use my column to print. It was my birthday this past weekend (42) and I came here to NY to visit my college roommate, as we do every year. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to give advice on all the crazy things that went wrong this trip, but anything you could do or say to help will be greatly appreciated. First we went to the local pub Jackie Reilly's which we always go to when I come into town. Usually we have a blast and close the place. This trip was different because I brought my new boyfriend with me. My friend expected me to be my usual crazy self, and had a few people at the bar for us to hang out with. Well, my boyfriend overheard someone refer to me as "wild", which I'm fine with, but obviously my boyfriend wasn't. So instead of hanging out with the group, my boyfriend wanted us to just sit in a table in the back away from everyone. My girlfriend didn't like that idea and even told me I was being antisocial. Really it wasn't me, it was my boyfriend not be happy there...I told my friend I had a headache and after two drinks my boyfriend wanted to leave. I could tell my friend wasn't happy and was probably even mad, but I was stuck being trying to make two people happy. So we left. The next day we went into the city to see a play. My girlfriend brought a friend so it was the four of us. The weather sucked but we tried to make the best of it. After the play my friend noticed her wallet was stolen. Obviously, that ruined the mood for her the rest of the night. After we ate dinner, the rest of us wanted to stay in the city and hang out, especially since this was my boyfriend's first time in NYC. My friend was upset because of her wallet and wanted to go home. It was only 6 PM at this point, since the play was at 2PM. Well, it became very uncomfortable with my friend wanting to go home, and my boyfriend wanting to see the City. I didn't know who to make happy. My boyfriend kept telling me it was my birthday so we should stay in the city and make the best of it... Well the next thing we knew it was 11 PM and I could see my friend was visibly upset, so I said okay let's go. We took a midnight train home and on the train my friend called her bank and we found out that someone used her debit card and rang up purchases for $1000. Then I really started to feel bad that maybe we should have left when she wanted. The next day she hardly spoke to us, and it hasn't been the same between us. I can tell she doesn't like my boyfriend. She actually told me he reminds her of my ex husband who was a controlling guy who cheated on me, and she has admitted to not liking. So she basically came right out and told me she doesn't like him. Finally here are my questions to you...do you think we should have given up the opportunity to leave NYC, even though there wasn't anything we could have done about her losing her wallet, or do you think that she over reacted. My boyfriend thinks she was being selfish by wanting to leave. Or do you think we should have left after dinner to make her happy? Lastly, I think she was rude to compare my boyfriend to my ex, who she never liked - should I tell her how badly I feel about that and let her know how much that bothers me. Although I've only known my boyfriend for a few months, we are living together and probably and hopefully will be spending the rest of our lives together. What do you think? -Lisa Dear Lisa, Let's see, your college room mate takes you out and invites other people out to meet and hang out with you and your boyfriend doesn't like it, so you have to sit at a table, then you ask to leave early with a headache, and she leaves right away for you...the next night she loses her wallet, goes out to dinner with you, but then asks to leave since she is so upset and you don't know if you should have left or not? Your boyfriend thinks she's selfish? I think anyone who has gone through such an upsetting experience would want to go home, and that takes precidence over anything else in the picture, even your birthday. As for your boyfriend being controlling - do you really even question that your friend is wrong on that one? He is obviously controlling! I say, apologize to your friend for being such a "crappy" friend to her, dump this controlling guy, and hopefully your friend will forgive you for your obvious lack of judgement. -MTN Please send in all of your questions to MTN at [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson has been titled "The Irish Matchmaker" in NY. For more information on her services, please check out her website at Mtnmatchmaking.com. For a complimentary appointment with her call 1-888-31-MATCH.