Dear MTN, I am 35 years old and just got recently divorced. I was married to a guy for 10 years who was very verbally abusive. Before he started to have a real impact on my children's personality, I realized it was best to get divorced. I have custody of our two children, 4 and 6 years old. My problem is when I am home from work, all my two kids do is fight. By the time the weekend comes, I don't have any energy at all to go out with my few single girlfriends. How am I ever going to meet a great guy when I am either home with my kids, or too tired to go out. Even if my friends do force me to get out of the house and go out and have fun, once guys here I have two kids, forget it. It's like no matter what age a guy is in a club, they all want a girl without kids. My girlfriends come home each weekend with a few phone numbers from guys who all want to take them out. Me, no one asks for my phone number. This is very bad on my ego. Anything you can suggest? - Stacey Dear Stacey, It sounds like you did the best thing for not only yourself but for your children as well. I know it's hard now, but it will get easier. First of all, please forget about the club scene. You're right about what the guys want and are looking for in the clubs. They also just want one night stands and sex. You are too good for that. You mention your girlfriends getting all these numbers - if these guys were so great, they would be married and not need to be going out to the clubs. You are actually better off not even going to the clubs, because with two children, the odds of finding a great guy who is family oriented and hanging out in the clubs is very slim. You should try taking your kids to parks or places where other single Dad's take their kids. Make play dates with Dads! Seek out other girlfriends also who have kids, and you'll notice your ego will go right back up to where it belongs. Good Luck. Dear MTN, I know you have probably heard this problem before, but there is this great guy at work. We are both 40 years old, single, never married, with no children, and have great positions with our company. We have been fighting to stay away from each other for the past year, because be both know working relationships are very risky. Last weekend we ended up working late together and going out for drinks after work. One thing let to another and we ended up at his house and having sex. It was great. When I left his house the next day, Saturday I was flying high thinking that he didn't care anymore about us working together and that we would be a couple. I was surprised that he didn't even call me the entire weekend. Monday morning at work, he told me he is sorry that we both made such a big mistake and hopes that we can still be friends. I was stunned. I asked him since we already crossed the line, maybe it was meant to be and that we should give it a try. I was crushed when he said that although he is very attracted to me, he is looking for a girl in her thirties so he can have kids with. I felt like punching him in the face. I can still have kids at 40. I am so hurt by his actions that I never want to see him again. Please tell me, what do I do now? - Margaret Dear Margaret, First of all, you were right not to mix business with pleasure. The odds of that working out are also so slim, it's not worth the risk of getting hurt, like you are now, unfortunately. His behavior is disgusting! I hope you really mean that you are done with him. He isn't even worth your friendship. Yes, of course, a girl who is 40, can have children, so he is wrong on that. I recently just had a success story with one of my clients who came to me at 42, single, never married, and she is now expecting her first child a year later. So don't let the words of a selfish guy, who just wants his cake and to eat it too, to upset you. Forget him. Friendship over... If he questions you on it, tell him you were very disappointed in his actions and his words to you, and wish him well. He needs to be put in his place. You need to find a nice, respectful guy...just don't look for him at work. Work is Work! Please send in your questions to [email protected]. If you are single and looking for a committed relationship eventually leading to marriage, contact Long Island's only Irish American Matchmaker Maureen Tara Nelson. She covers the entire NY Metro Area, and is conveniently located. For more information, call 1-888-31-MATCH.