Dear MTN, I've been dating a guy for six months now and he still hasn't invited me over to his place. I have a house, so we usually just end up there after a date. We are both in our 30's and are single with no children. I am starting to really fall for this guy, but every time I mention his house, or does he own a house, or where does he live, he gets all nervous and changes the subject. All he says is that he lives in Brooklyn, not in a good area, and doesn't keep his place clean enough for me to see it. He says that he feels much more comfortable at my clean house, and there's no reason to go to his place since he always comes in to Long Island to pick me up and drop me off...I don't know if I should press the issue, since other than that we get along great. He has never lied to me before, and I have no proof that there is anything suspicious, so I'm in a difficult spot. Do I tell him that I would feel more comfortable seeing his house, and risk losing him, or do I just leave it alone for now and see how things go down the line. Please help! - Lisa Dear Lisa, This is definitely a red flag. That doesn't mean that he's doing anything wrong, he simply might be telling the truth that his place is a mess, but after 6 months, you should have been there by now. There are many situations it might be, which I'm sure you have already thought of and that's why you're writing...he might be married, he might live with his parents and be embarrassed since you own your own house, he might just rent the basement of someone's house and be really embarrassed, or he might even be living with someone. You do need to address this issue, since it's not going to go away on it's own. He is very comfortable with the way things are going now, so he has no reason to change anything. Every time you bring it up, he quickly gets you off the topic and you let it go. I suggest you make your move. Life is too short to waste time on someone who is hiding something. Even if it is a simple thing of not wanting you to see his mess, that's still a red flag. It doesn't make sense. Anytime in a relationship if something doesn't make sense or if your antenna goes off - there is usually a good reason why. You need to find out why he is so secretive. There are a lot of ways you could easily find out the information without him even knowing, but I always believe in being honest and taking the high road. I recommend that you offer to take him out to dinner, and keep the questioning light and simple. Explain to him that you really care about him, and need to know why he is so secretive about where he lives. He will be defensive, so be prepared. This might end up with him not wanting to tell you the truth if he is married or someone like that and he simply might just break up with you rather than having to admit being a liar and a cheat. But it's better to find out now before you really fall for him...He probably will try and get you off the subject again, as he always does, but you can't surrender. You need to learn the truth. Hopefully it is something innocent, for your sake, but you need to do it regardless. Good luck to you, and please keep me posted. - MTN Dear MTN, I am 29 years old, have a great job, own my own home, and think I am good looking. Why is it that I can't seem to find anyone that I can share the rest of my life with? When I go to the bars with my buddies, I meet these girls that seem great that night, but then when I take them out alone, without their friends around, they are a totally different person. This last girl was beautiful, funny, and very outgoing when I met her out two weeks ago, then I took her out on a date. She wasn't as good looking as I remembered, she was shy and hardly spoke two words the whole night. I wanted to ask her where her beautiful twin sister was? Then the last girl I met from the Internet told me she was in shape, loved to exercise, loved to rollerblade, and her picture was gorgeous. When I suggested rollerblading for our first date, she said she would rather go out for a drink instead. Then when I picked her up, she looked nothing like her picture, and was definitely not in shape. She looked about 50 pounds heavier than in her picture. I didn't even want to take her out, because I was furious she lied to me. I felt like an idiot though if I just left, so I had to take her out for one drink and took her home. Now she won't stop calling me leaving me crazy messages about how well we got along and how much she can't wait to see me again. I text messaged her that I just wasn't attracted to her, like I was to her picture (so she would realize that she shouldn't be using such a deceiving picture), and now she's texting me all the time what a jerk I am and that I'm superficial. I told her to stop and move on and find someone else, but she sends me about 3 messages a day. First how do I get rid of this psycho? And where does a nice guy find a nice, smart, pretty girl these days? - Richie Dear Richie, That's unfortunately the down side of meeting singles on the internet and in the bars. The internet is dangerous, and way too easy for someone to lie. People think they have to lie to get a date, but don't realize once they see the person, the truth comes out, and it's not going to work anyway. The bar scene is a great, fun thing to do with your friends. Going out, having some drinks and laughs, is something we all need to do from time to time. But to find your partner at a bar, there are just too many obstacles to make it work out nowadays. When you meet a girl out and she's out drinking with her friends, that's one side of her personality, but as you saw for yourself, her real personality is when she is out without her friends and when she's sober. This girl sounds nuts, so I suggest telling her if she continues to harass you, you'll call the police. It's probably not the first time someone's called the police on her. Looks like you need to make a free consultation with my Matchmaking service. For all the things you say you are and for what you're looking for, that is exactly what my clientele is...Everyone who comes in to see me says the same things as you did, and have had similar if not worse stories to tell...Call 1888-31-MATCH. It's a lot easier and more fun than you think. - MTN Dear MTN, I just wanted to say thanks for your great advice you give every week. Every week when the paper comes out I read your column first! My question to you is simple. I am a 65 year old man. Am I too old to join your Matchmaking service. I have been widowed for two years now and am very lonely. - Mike Dear Mike, Thank you so much! You are not too old at all. My ages range from 20 - 83 years old. I am very sorry to hear about your losing your wife. No one should be lonely. Please call, and I'll even give you a senior discount. - MTN Please send in your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH