Dear MTN, I really need your help. My boyfriend of over a year now is still not over his ex-wife. He says he is, but every time she needs something, he's over there faster than a hot potato. I have discussed this many times to him and he always responds the same way by explaining that it is for his two children who are 12 and 15. His ex-wife isn't remarried yet, and in my mind, I think she has no need to find a man, since anytime she needs something, Bill is there for her. He has not brought up anything about our future together, and I know from reading your columns (thanks by the way-I'm a big fan), that he has to bring up those issues and not me...but my question to you is, how long do I wait? Should I continue to smile every time he runs over there to help his kids etc. Should I bring up that he does more for her than he even does for me? Or should I just ride it out and see what happens. Yes, I love him dearly, and don't want to lose him. If he were to ask me to marry him tomorrow I would say yes. In other words, his ex is our only problem. I should also add, in her defense, she is a lovely woman, and a great mother to their kids. I don't think she even realizes what she is doing to him by relying on him so much, and especially what she is doing to our relationship. Please help! - Helen Dear Helen, He sounds like a loving father to his children, and that is a good thing. As for as the ex, being that you think she is a nice person, I don't think she is manipulating the situation...and that is only what you would need to worry about. Are your needs being met by him? If so, give the guy some slack for trying to be the savior to all! However, I do think you should gently mention to him when he's in a really good mood, that any other woman who didn't love him as much as you do, would probably be jealous or concerned by his constantly helping his ex. See what he says. His answer will give you the answer as to what to do next. He might not even realize that he is putting her first, and you second...He needs to know, that for you to continue the relationship you both need to put each other first. Then give him the biggest kiss and praise him for being so good to his kids. Let him know you admire that about him, but it just can't be at the extreme level! I'm sure it will be fine. - MTN Dear MTN, My son is 30 and is hearing impaired. Would he be eligible for your Matchmaking services, or do you not accept those with disabilities? - concerned Mom. Dear concerned Mom, Yes, as long as I know I can help someone, I will accept them into the program. On the other hand, if I didn't think I could make someone successful, I wouldn't take their money. In your case, you are very lucky, because I have a beautiful girl who is in his age range, and is also hearing impaired. I always believe things happen for a reason...so yes, please call 631-577-7940 and schedule your complimentary appointment with me. I am so excited about meeting your son, and I'm sure my client will be as well! Thanks for writing. - MTN Dear MTN, I hate to bring money up to you, because I have heard from friends how successful you are at matchmaking people, but last year I spent over $5000 on a dating service. I just need to know if you are in that ball park. It's not that I'm cheap, but I spent all that money and didn't get anything from it, so hopefully you can understand my hesitation. I certainly wouldn't want to waste your time if it is that much, because right now that just wouldn't be financially doable for me. Can you give me any idea what your costs of your program are? - Mike Dear Mike, I usually don't get questions on the price of my program in my singles column. I am really here to help you with any relationship problems you might be going through, but in this case since you sound like a nice guy and have just wasted so much money, I can tell you, even though I offer five times the amount of services of any other program out there, I am only a small fraction of that price. So the good news is you can come in for your consultation and not have to worry about wasting that kind of money! Looking forward to hearing from you. - MTN Dear MTN, What do you think of sleeping with someone on the first date if you think she is the greatest, hottest girl in the world and you think it's love at first sight? - John Dear John, Do I believe in love at first sight? YES! Do I believe in sleeping with someone on the first date? NO! This my friend, is not love at first sight, it is lust at first sight. You must spend the time to truly get to know someone before you know if you love them or not. I hope you didn't ruin what might have been the right one by doing this...In the future, my opinion is, if you really want this to work with someone, don't ruin it by rushing! Wait until you are in Love, and then it truly is making love! - MTN Please send in your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH