Dear MTN, My girlfriend of six years and I are thinking of getting married. I'm sure you've heard this before, but she is everything you could ever want in a girl. She is 31, beautiful, sweet, slim, with a great job. The only, and I mean only, problem is that I think she is a shop-a-holic. She is heavily into debt and that really concerns me. She made a comment the other day mentioning that when we get married, thankfully I have the money to pay off her debt! I bit my tongue, because she has an Irish temper, and when she gets going, you don't want to be around her. But she still is the loveliest girl in the world. I feel we should wait until we get married until she gets herself out of debt. I don't think this is my problem, it is hers. I work very hard for my money and I have it invested in our future, not into paying off her bills. How can I tell her this so she doesn't blow up on me? Thanks. - Tim Dear Tim, It is very wise of you to be so diligent on your finances, and you're right when you say the debt is her problem, especially since you mention she has a great job. You just really need to be honest with her and tell her you have saved up some money for your future, and you are very excited about one day walking down the aisle with her, but that she first has to take care of her finances. Of course she is going to say something to you, or even start a fight, but if she is as special as you say she is, she should come around and step up to the plate. I do not suggest going into a marriage with someone who has a pattern of over-spending. The result will most likely be, your nest egg will keep dwindling before your eyes...if she can't stop spending on her own, she does need to get help, and you my dear, are the one who needs to tell her. Good luck! - MTN Dear MTN, I go to college upstate and I've been going out with a guy named Brian for over a year now. This summer break already is miserable for me, since he lives upstate and I miss him very much. The last few days he's been calling I noticed a difference in him. He sounds very distant and quick on the phone. This morning he woke me up at 7am to tell me he found someone already this summer and wants to break up with me. I am devastated. When we left school, everything was great between us. I asked him who she is and he said someone from town that I didn't know. He said he was sorry and didn't want to hurt me, but that we are too young to be so serious anyway. We are both 18. I don't care how young we are, he told me he loved me many times. I offered to go visit him to see if we can work things out. He said he would think about it and get back to me. I know if he just sees me, I can convince him that he still loves me. I'm sure it's just the distance and he got lonely and is just using her until school starts up again at the end of August. My friends are nagging me to go out and meet someone here local to get my mind off Brian, but I don't think that's fair to the guy, if that happens. I don't know what to do. He's going to call me this weekend and let me know if I can come or not. He has to ask his Mom if I can stay there and sleep in the guest room. Any quick advice you can give me? - Tina Dear Tina, Oh my dear! STOP! Do you want to be a door mat to this guy? He has cheated on you. Move on...The good news is you're only 18 years old, and if you're lucky, you'll have about 5 different "Brian's" before you find the right one. These are the years you are supposed to be having fun with your friends. If a guy comes into the picture great, but your friends and family always have to come first at this age. Even if Brian says to come, if you go, you are setting yourself up to begin a very unhealthy pattern. You need to be strong and believe in yourself. Tell him you reconsidered, and that's he's right, you both are too young to be so serious, and that you already started dating someone. That will put him in his place. And he belongs in that place. You belong in a fun place enjoying the summer with your friends. Go out and have FUN! If you meet a guy, just be honest that you're returning to school soon. Remember, be strong! - MTN Dear MTN, I am 40 years old and haven't found the right one. I know you are a Matchmaker and will probably just suggest coming into your service, but what I really want to know is, are there any places you can recommend for single, good looking guys like myself to meet girls. As far as marriage, I'm not ready yet. I usually date a few girls at once and I like it that way. I'm just going through a dry spell and need some advice of where are all the "HOT" girls hiding in NY? - Tom Dear Tom, Thanks for writing, but actually I wouldn't recommend you come into my service at this time. What the beautiful girls in my service are looking for and what you are looking for are two totally different things. You are not ready for a service like mine. As far as where the girls are hiding? You need to first figure out who you are and what you want for the rest of your life. Do you really like being single at 40? If so, go to the bars and just have fun. Just keep in mind, time goes by very fast, and next thing you know, you might be 50 and still writing to me...It's not about the girls Tom, it's about you now. Best of Luck to you. - Tom Please send in your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH