Dear MTN- Sharon is my name. I met a guy online a few months ago. I know you always say in your column this is not a good idea. But we talked on the phone a lot too and I really liked him. The first time we met was this weekend. I got us tickets to go see Bon Jovi in Central Park. I had a great time! but here's the thing - I got wasted and now I think I have an STD. I don't know what to do because my doctor is a friend of the family and plays golf with my dad on Saturdays. I really like this guy, and I can't tell him either because I don't want to scare him away. I don't care if he's experienced I just want to see him again and I don't want him to be grossed out. Am I being stupid? I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends. Please help! - Sharon Dear Sharon - I wish I knew your age, because it would help me tremendously in answering you questions. I am assuming you are very young and still under your father's insurance, that's why you feel the need to go to his friend. But realistically, you can and should be able to go to any doctor that you feel most comfortable with. I suggest you tell your Dad that you would feel more comfortable going to a female doctor, and that will take care of that issue. You must tell her everything and you must go to her as soon as possible, and she'll be the expert in explaining to you all of your options. I am pretty sure nowadays that they have many different treatment options for almost all the STD's that are out there, so try not to worry. Also remember you're not the only one going through this difficult time, so try to stay positive. I can remember my first year of college, at a lecture, they told us to look around us and that by the end of college, one out of three of us would have some type of STD. That was enough to keep me "playing it safe." As for your new guy, you have to be honest with him. More than likely you caught it from him. If he already knows that he has this STD, and gave it to you, that shows the type of guy he is and I say DUMP HIM! Whether he knows or not, you must be honest with him. What's meant to be, will be! Good luck and please, don't put this off, it could cause a huge problem for you in future if you do. As for your friends, it's none of their business. Keep it to yourself and the guy! I wish you the best. - MTN Dear MTN- My name is Kay and I commute into the city for my job everyday. I've been meeting the same guy on the train for almost a month now. The first thing I did was look for a wedding ring, and was so happy not to see one. He told me he used to take the earlier train until now, and takes this later one so we can ride together. I look forward to seeing him every morning. He is handsome, funny and has a great job. I am 39, single never married, pretty and looking to find the right guy to marry and eventually or actually soon before it's too late, to have kids with. He would fit the bill perfectly. My first red flag was that he was taking the relationship very slow. He says the nicest things to me, and makes it obviously that we would make a great couple, but he has yet to ask for my phone number. Well last Friday, as we left eachother, going opposite ways, I just happened to look back at him and saw him taking something from his pocket. Naturally, I was hoping it was his cell phone or gum, or something harmless...All of a sudden I got this extra nerve inside me and ran over to him to tell him I forgot to tell him something and looked right at his left hand. Sure enough, there was a wedding ring there. I was crushed to say the least. I didn't mention anything at the time, because we were both running late to work, and I want to make sure I say the right thing. If you could even email me your answer so I get it ahead of time, I would truly appreciate it! Yes I really like him, and I'm sure you can imagine I'm hoping he might be separated and still wearing his ring? I don't know, but I need your help drastically. - Kay Dear Kay - Wow, you were looking for a true love story, love at first sight on the train, like all the old romantic movies, and unfortunately what you got was a liar and a cheat! I think you know the answer that you have to forget him and that you deserve better than that. Would you like to be married to him and have him do the same thing to a different girl in a couple of years. People usually follow there same patterns, and you can't change him. Do not accept any stupid excuse by him that he's going through a divorce and it should be finalized soon. That is what he probably already has in mind to say to you. Remember, if that was the truth, he would have told you from day one and wouldn't have had to sneak his wedding ring back on after leaving you...I am also emailing this to you, so don't worry, but when you see him Monday, tell him that you noticed he was married, and that you're not that kind of girl and you suggest he goes back on the earlier train. Stick to your guns, because he is going to try and manipulate the situation. You are too smart for that. At 39, we really don't have time to waste with a liar - PERIOD! - MTN Dear MTN - I've been dating a woman who is 20 years older than I am for 10 years now. She is a great woman, takes great care of herself and me, and I know she loves me very much. I love her as well. Now I am 40 years old and I know it's probably my last chance to meet a younger woman and get married and have a family. I never thought much about having kids before, but once I turned 40, a lot of things changed in my life. I hate to hurt her since she's always been there for me, but in the back of my head, I did always know that she wouldn't be the woman I would end up marrying. I really need your help. How can I tell her now, after everything we've been through that I now want to have a family? - Bob Dear Bob - Well, it's a shame you never thought of this before and basically wasted this poor woman's life for the past 10 years. And you say you love her. I can't even imagine how you would treat someone that you didn't love. You first need to realize that this isn't going to be easy and you have to face the situation like a man. Admit to her the truth on how you feel, and make sure you apologize over and over for not thinking about this sooner. Tell her you wish more than anything that you didn't have to put her through this, but be prepared that she is going to take this news very bad. She is going to be very hurt, and rightfully so. I recommend cutting all ties with this woman and honoring all of her requests about how she needs to deal with this. You need to try to make this as easy on her as possible. Being friends won't work in a situation like this, and you must make sure you close the door completely, so you don't hurt her any more. Please make sure the next relationship you have, you don't except it out of convenience, and you wait and take the time to find the woman who is exactly what you are looking for. That way you won't have to worry about hurting anybody else. Good Luck! - MTN Please send in your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH