Dear MTN, I have been dating a wonderful man for about 4 1/2 years now, and we have even gone into business together; we opened up a coffee shop about 2 years ago and the store is going great. When we met, I was in the process of a messy divorce, so we decided to wait until the dust had settled before taking our relationship to the next level - moving in together, and eventually getting married. I am at the point in my life where I am ready for a commitment, but I have a few red flags with Matt. Every time I bring up the subject of marriage he quickly changes it. Also during the entire time of our dating, I have still never met his parents, not even once! He says his parents are very negative and he doesn't want to put me through that, so it's better that I don't meet them. Obviously, I don't agree. I've been suspicious for a while now, so I snooped on his lap top one day last week to see if I could find anything incriminating and I came up with a very shocking discovery...HE HAS A THREE YEAR OLD SON! which means that if his son is three, and we've been dating for longer than that, he got someone pregnant while we've been dating! I am absolutely devastated and don't know what to do, he is not only the love of my life, but also my business partner. Help! - Heidi Dear Heidi, As hard as this is for you, you need to face the situation and deal with it. Go into this with the knowledge and confidence that no matter what happens, you will be fine, and that there are other fish in the sea. Especially fish that don't cheat! Before you tell him you know of the situation, I strongly suggest that you invest in a good lawyer and ask him how to get out of the business as soon as possible. After he tells you how to do it, do it as fast as you can, without mentioning the situation. Simply tell him you need the money for your family, or something of that nature. Once you are free of his influence in the business sense, then you can deal with the tough question of how to approach him with this and how to move on. You have to realize now, this is your only option. Once a cheater, always a cheater, remember that! He will come up with all these crazy excuses I guarantee you, so be prepared and don't fall into the trap. You have the facts that he has a son, so you know he's broken the bond between you. I say, once you tell him you know, dump him! - MTN Dear MTN, The other night my boyfriend and I ended up back at his place and I had forgotten to take my condoms. He reached into his draw and pulled out a box. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but now I realize, it wasn't the type and brand that we use, and the box was half empty. Is he cheating, or am I just being paranoid. Thank you so much. - Helen Dear Helen, It's always harder for me to give advice when I don't know your age, and how long you've been dating. For for all my readers out there, please always try to include that information with your questions. The first thing you need to ask yourself is if he has any roomates. Maybe he does and they're his, or maybe they are just an old box before you, and he never needed to use them before. There are a lot of possibilities in this case. Then you need to express your feelings and concerns with him. If you are having sex with this guy, you should be at the point that you can ask him anything. So if he seems to get annoyed by your asking, that is a red flag that he is cheating. On the other hand, if he is amused by your questions and stays very calm and understanding, then I would probably say you have nothing to worry about, and believe what he says to you. Good Luck! - MTN Dear MTN, I am 45 and dating a wonderful woman for over a year now. She has been widowed for about five years now, and I think we are both ready to take it to the next level of getting engaged. I have brought up the subject lightly for about a month now, and she seems very receptive. The only little problem I have, well actually it's a huge problem that's really bothering me, is that she keeps a picture of her husband that died in her bedroom. Whenever I ask her about this, she says she keeps it there out of respect for her kids. Even though it really bothers me, I haven't made a big deal about it yet. But now, if we are going to get engaged, I want that picture removed. Do you agree, or not? I really trust your opinion and love your column. I also don't want to risk losing her. Thanks. - Hank Dear Hank, Yes I agree with you. Until this point I think it was fine for her to keep his picture there for the kids sake. But before asking her to marry you, bring up the subject and mention that when you get engaged, you wouldn't feel comfortable with the picture being in the bedroom, and ask her if it's okay if the picture could go in one of the kids rooms. She should be fine with that. Her answer will tell a lot. Hopefully, she understands and will remove it to make you happy. Then if that's the case, you have a winner on your hands and you have my blessings. Best of luck with you! I really hope she does the right thing. Just in case she doesn't, show her this article! LOSE THE PICTURE AND MOVE ON! -MTN Please send MTN your questiosn to [email protected]. All questions will be answered personally by Maureen Tara Nelson. Maureen Tara Nelson is a private Matchmaker that specializes in Irish singles who are ready to find the right person in their life. She has been successfully Matchmaking in New York for over eight years. If you want success, call Maureen Tara Nelson. She offers all her potential clients a complimentary interview. Call 1-888-31-MATCH TODAY!