Dear MTN, I have been dating this great guy I met through my cousin for about 14 months now. I was in a verbally abusive marriage for years and had all but given up on dating until I met him. He told me he was going through a messy divorce but it would soon be finalized, which was fine with me. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him and was to take the next step towards marriage. I went to Aruba with my boyfriend, his sister, and her husband. While on the trip his sister informed me that my boyfriend is not divorced, he is separated and has made no move towards a divorce. I am devastated because I don't see how our relationship can progress to the next level if he is not attempting a divorce? - Susan Dear Susan, Unfortunately, I see this all the time when people date on the outside world. All I can really say is I'm sorry you have to go through this, but please...dump him! No matter what he says to you, I'm afraid this pattern is all to common and will not change. You need to meet a man who is totally free and ready for a committed relationship...Good Luck. - MTN Dear MTN, I have been with my boyfriend Adam for four years now and I really think I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. We get along great; there are just two minor issues. Actually, they are major issues. The first one is the fact that he has a son, which was fine at first. But the more I think about it, I am only 26 and I want us to have children of our own and I just don't know how he feels about having more kids. Every time I bring it up, he says he's not sure. I know his son will always be a part of his life but I want us to share a family of our own. My second issue is that he has a crazy mother with a personality disorder. She owns the home he lives in, so she constantly pops in whenever she wants! When she does this, she starts a fight with me! This obviously causes another fight between Adam and me. These two people are so important in his life and I would never dream of giving him an ultimatum, but I just don't know how to handle the situation. Please Help! - Diane Dear Diane, You need to find out, and find out now, before you go any further with him, if he will be willing to have children with you. If you want kids, and he doesn't, now is the time to end it. Thank God you are still so young if you need to start over. As for his Mother, he must cut the ties with her NOW, if she does in fact have a medical, controlling problem. That is a situation that will never change, and you will have to live like that for the rest of your life. I suggest you mention to him how you feel about his mother as nicely as possible, and then just listen. Maybe he just never noticed it before, and by bringing it up he will notice it, and then you know you have a winner on your hands. If he becomes defensive about his Mother run for the hills!!! You can see the future of your life with him by tuning into any Lifetime Movie. This is a very serious and dangerous situation...His mother needs help, and unless she realizes it, she will never change. Believe me when I say, you don't want to live your life with a controlling person, even if it's a Mother in Law that you only see every once in a while...Good luck to you and I hope he takes your side on this. - MTN Please continue to submit your questions to [email protected]. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH