As Hurricane Irene has finally left your shores I hope that you all kept safe, drank copies amounts of alcohol and you didn’t kill your family.

As a hurricane veteran living in South Florida I know the ropes. The two most important things to remember are: - There is no need to panic and you could all be killed.

Another few rules of thumb that have kept us safe over the past few years are:-
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

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Hurricane Irene spares us - sighs of relief as storm passes with little damage

Hurricane Irene teaches us a very valuable lesson ---don't take modern life for granted

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HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance in South Florida, it’s the law. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and - if it's a major hurricane - all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

* Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

* Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

* Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

* "Hurricane-proof" windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

Also it is good to have a big Chef’s knife that you can strap to your leg.

(This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

NEW ORLEANS HURRICANE
This is the Classic N'awlins Hurricane.
Drink through a straw from the bottom first. It starts out calm, but it gets stormy towards the end!"151 proof rum floats on the top of this potent fruit-and-citrus drink--so don't let the initial mellow taste fool you."

Ingredients:
1/2 cup ice
2 fluid ounces light rum
2 fluid ounces passion fruit flavored syrup
1 cup lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage
1 ounce lime juice
1 fluid ounce 151 proof rum

Method:
In a shaker, combine ice, light rum, passion fruit syrup, lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage and lime juice. Shake well and pour mixture into a Hurricane or other large specialty glass. Float the151 proof rum on top of the drink.

HURRICANE CAKE
An easy and delicious cake, also known as Earthquake Cake in LA!
Coconut and pecans are baked under a German chocolate cake mix, with a cream cheese mixture on top that sinks into the batter as it bakes.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup margarine
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup flaked coconut
1 (18.25 ounce) package German chocolate cake mix
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
1/2 cup margarine
3 3/4 cups confectioners' sugar

Method:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Melt and spread ½ cup margarine in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan. Sprinkle coconut and pecans evenly over the bottom of pan; set aside.

Prepare cake mix as directed on package. Pour batter over coconut and pecans in pan. In a saucepan over low heat, melt cream cheese and ½ cup margarine. Stir in confectioners' sugar until mixture is smooth. Spoon the cream cheese mixture randomly over top of cake batter.

Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake in the preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.
Allow to cool and serve from the pan.

AND FINALLY…10 Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas

10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows)
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights)
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials"
6. Family coming to stay with you
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities
3. Days off from work
2. Candles

And... the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas ...

1. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!