Here we are in sunny Negril, Jamaica for the annual Gilligan family vacation.

Negril was named Negrillo by the Spanish in 1494 but has little history except as a haven for shipping. In 1702 British Admiral Benbow sailed into Negril and regrouped his forces after his ill-fated encounter with the French under Admiral DuCasse and in 1818 fifty warships and 6600 men sailed from Negril to tackle the American rebels and were put to fight the battle of New Orleans. The infamous Pirates Calico Jack and Anne Bonney were captured in Negril and were executed near Port Royal.

Negril is located in Western Jamaica and extends from the nineteenth-century Negril Lighthouse at Negril Point in the parish of Westmoreland, to Bloody Bay in the Parish of Hanover. {More like hangover in our case though!}
The combination of dramatic rugged cliffs on the West End and miles of pristine white sand beach with crystal clear water can be found nowhere else on the island. Neither is there anywhere in Jamaica that’s as laid back.

Negril is dubbed the “Capital of Casual” as Negrilians carry out business and pleasure efficiently with the least amount of formality. The first visitors to Negril in large numbers were hippies and this helped to create its carefree atmosphere and now Negril is still the ideal place to meet and make friends with Jamaicans. Visitors to Negril feel little restriction and can relax completely on this piece of heaven on earth.

JAMAICAN BEEF PATTY

We’ve all had one of these coming home from the bar at 5am but have you ever had one sober? They really are a treat. Try making these at home; it’s easy, peazy, lemon squeezy!

INGREDIENTS:
Makes: 10 Patties

PASTRY

2 cups Flour
¼ teaspoon Salt
½ tablespoon curry powder
¼ cup Solid shortening
¼ cup (1/2 stick) margarine
½ cup Cold water

METHOD

Sift the flour, curry powder and salt into a large bowl. Cut in the shortening and margarine until crumbly. Add the cold water to make a stiff dough. Lightly flour a wooden cutting board and roll out the dough until about 1/8-inch thick. Cut out 8-inch circles. Cover with wax paper or damp cloth until ready to use. You can place the dough in the refrigerator overnight. If you do refrigerate, remove the dough at least 15 minutes before using.

MEAT FILLING

2 tablespoon oil
1 Small white onion, finely chopped
¼ teaspoon Chopped Scotch Bonnet pepper
½ lb. Lean ground beef
½ teaspoon Salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon Curry powder
½ teaspoon Dried thyme
¼ cup Breadcrumbs
¼ cup Beef or chicken stock
1 Egg, beaten
¼ cup Water

In a heavy skillet, melt the margarine and sauté the onion and Scotch Bonnet Pepper until they become limp. Add the ground beef, salt, pepper, curry powder and thyme and mix well. Brown the meat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add the breadcrumbs and stock and combine all the ingredients well. Cover the skillet and simmer for about 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. When all the liquids have been absorbed, the filling is ready. It should be moist but not watery. Remove the skillet from the stove and preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Uncover the dough circles and place 2 to 3 tablespoons of filling on half of each. Moisten the edges of the dough with water and fold the dough circle over the meat filling. Pinch the edges closed with a fork. Lightly brush the pastry with a mixture of the egg and water. Bake on a lightly greased baking sheet for 30 to 40 minutes or until the pastry are golden brown.

AND FINALLY…

A group of men are waiting outside a ‘new inventions’ meeting room before it starts, an American, an Englishman, and a Jamaican.

A bleeper noise is heard, and the American looks at his shoulder, presses it and looks at the other two and says ‘it’s my bleeper’,
The Englishman raises the palm of his hand to his face and starts talking, when he finishes he looks at the other two and says ‘ that was my mobile phone’

The Jamaican thought I dint want to get left behind with all this new high tech stuff, so he gets up and leaves the room, and returns with a piece of toilet paper sticking out of his arse, the other two look at him, the Jamaican looks down and behind and says ‘ Oh!, I am receiving a fax’

EVERYTING’ AIREE