Love will define Irish American family after devastating murder-suicide, funeral hears

A joint funeral was held for Irish American husband and wife Sean O'Neill and Arlene Connolly O'Neill in New York on Wednesday morning, October 23.

Police said that on October 16, Sean shot his wife Arlene multiple times before turning the weapon on himself at their home in Yonkers.

The couple are survived by their three sons, aged 15, 13, and 11.

The murder-suicide has shocked the local Irish American community which has come together in a GoFundMe to support the boys, as well as the 'Green for Arlene' campaign that has seen homes and businesses hanging green ribbons and bows in tribute.

On Wednesday morning, Father Robert Grippo, the pastor of Annunciation - Our Lady of Fatima Parish in Yonkers, was joined by Cardinal Timothy Dolan and Father Brendan Fitzgerald in leading the joint funeral Mass for Sean and Arlene.

In his homily, Fr Fitzgerald shared how when he visited with the family last Wednesday morning, a Connolly cousin handed him a set of rosary beads that had belonged to the boys' great-great-grandmother back in Ireland. Fr Fitzgerald said he could feel the power of the great-great grandmother's prayers as they prayed together. 

"Every time I put the beads through my fingers, I was picturing her in her lifetime praying for her family and her children and her children's children and right down to you and I know that she's continuing to do that from her place in heaven."

He added: "As we journeyed into that prayer, I also felt it very strong in my heart that she's got Sean and Arlene now, they're up in her company."

Fr Fitzgerald said he had met with Arlene only a few weeks ago at her brother Pete's promotion ceremony. He recalled how proud she was of her three sons, and that the boys were the "center" of her and Sean's lives.

"You were truly their pride and joy," Fr Fitzgerald said, addressing the boys. "You want them here with you, I know that. 

“Heaven has become a little closer to you boys … They’re going to spend their time up there looking out for you.”

Referring to the 'Green for Arlene' campaign, Fr Fitzgerald told the boys: “When you see those green ribbons, boys, you know that’s love for you."

Fr Fitzgerald concluded his homily by reciting the Irish hymn "Ag Criost An Siol."

In a heartwrenching speech at the end of the Mass, Mark Connolly, speaking on behalf of both the Connolly and O'Neill families, described his sister Arlene as a "really beautiful person inside and out."

Flanked by his siblings Denise and Peter as well as Sean's sister Sheila, Mark said his sister was "proud of her Irish heritage, however, her greatest love was that of her family.

"Her boys meant the world to her, and she fought fiercely so that they would have every opportunity that life could offer."

Mark reflected on how happy everyone was Arlene and Sean got married and welcomed their three sons soon after.

“There was a lot of love during those times," Mark said, "and I’m here to tell you that there is a lot of love still here right now."

Mark said "no one's really sure why things turned out the way they did," but that he found some solace when a cousin told him that "when you leave this place, that all the strife that's plagued us while here on Earth instantly falls away, that there is no more pain or heartache, and that only love remains."

He continued: "We want everyone here to know that our family will not be defined by the events of that day but by the love we continue to have for one another."

Mark then offered an emotional promise to Sean and Arlene's sons on behalf of all of the wider family: "Your aunties and uncles and grandma, we got you buddy, we got you guys. Okay?

"You’re surrounded by love and we’re still a family just like we’ve always been.

"And I'll tell you that with the help of our friends, and our neighbors, and through God's grace, I know that brighter days are ahead of us.

“To Arlene and Sean, go and rest your spirits. These fine young men are in the very best of hands.”