Those amongst you who were raised on the home sod know that an emerald green copy of Old Moore's Almanac came into the house at the turn of the year with its tide tables and listings of fairs and markets and, above all, its predictions of the events which would occur during the 12 months ahead.

You also know that the flimsy cover of the booklet normally tattered quickly from handling and fell off long before the middle of February. By then, too, many of the predictions had been proven to be inaccurate too.

Old MacConnell's Almanac, on the other hand, is a different kettle of fish altogether.

This is the second issue of the work. Those who cut out and retained the piece I wrote about the launch last year know that my predictions were almost 100 percent accurate.

This is perhaps because I time the event to fall during the resurrection days when our year truly shakes itself and emerges from the gloom of winter. It is a bit like the Chinese calendar in a way and works much better all round.

Free gratis out of the goodness of my heart, I am hereby offering a taster of the many predictions in the current publication. Use your scissors when you have finished reading this, and I will expect some expressions of your awe and gratitude to feature in the comments section next Easter. I have noticed that some of you can be sharp enough down there but, sure, that is the way of the world and no harm done.

Firstly, I can say without fear of contradiction that Donald Trump, despite all the criticisms, will indeed build his famous wall inside the next 18 months. However, it will not be along the Mexican border and it will not cost the Mexican government even one cent.

Trump's wall, instead, will be a sea wall built around his upmarket golf resort in Doonbeg in West Clare, no more than a long stone's throw from the Cliffs of Moher.

And the Irish government, when it is eventually composed again, will pay for most of it in order to protect the Irish jobs attached to the resort. Remember you read that here first.

Trump will probably be able to visit Doonbeg again too because he will have a lot of time on his hands after a losing presidential campaign. I will leave that there for the moment.

Here at home we will have waged another general election long before the foundations of Trump's wall have been laid down. This second election in a single year will be just as inconclusive as the one we have just suffered through.

There will be even more independents, all three major parties will emerge with fewer deputies elected, and the minority government eventually cobbled together against all the odds will not last longer than six months before we have to put our shoulders to the electoral wheel again.

Enda Kenny, after an honorable enough stint in office, will be delighted to ride off into the sunset before the repeat election. He deserves his rest. He will be replaced by Simon Coveney.

Beginning next week the Irish weather will take a turn for the very worst after a dry March. There will be no summer weather worth talking about because of constant downpours of rain. The downpours will be so persistent they will even slow down the construction of Trump's wall in Doonbeg.

The canny English people, suffering similar weather and a fractured government too, will very narrowly vote to stay in the EC at the end of their June referendum. By and large we will breathe a sigh of economic relief on this side of the Irish Sea.

The first weekend of May will create a significant record in the six counties. For the very first weekend since the establishment of the so-called peace process, there will not be a single shot fired nor bomb exploded.

Nobody will be the victim of any kind of sectarian murder or arson. No Orange hall will be burnt down and no nationalist parade attacked.

On the other side of the border, however, down in Dublin, three gangsters will be gunned down in continuing internecine feuds.

On the sporting front I have bad news yet again for the Mayo footballers. They will again fail to win the All Ireland even though they will reach the semifinal (again), and all the experts will claim they should have won on the day. Dublin will win Sam Maguire with the greatest of ease and, believe it or not, Waterford will win the hurling title.

I feel that is enough of a giveaway for now. I may return to the list later in the year. In the meantime get those scissors out of the left hand side drawer.