Once a cheater always a cheater
Dear MTN,

I really need your help before my boyfriend returns from his trip. If you could please select my email and answer it this week I would really appreciate it. Everyone is giving me advice and it's all different advice, and I feel like my head is going to pop. I thought it made more sense, to ask you for your advice!

I was dating a guy for about six months. He didn't have a job, but he was responsible enough to have money saved up, so I didn't care. Then he got a job with a cruise ship and left two weeks ago. We discussed that we would not cheat on each other, so I was fine with him going away. My friends all told me to break up with him, and none of them like him.

He told me last week he met an older woman on the cruise and that they are soul mates. He apologized and told me he never wanted to hurt me. I was devastated.

He called me last night and told me that it didn't work out with her and that when he returns, he wants to get back with me. I told him no right away, but he insists that this was a good thing for our relationship, because he now is sure that we were meant to be. He said when he returns he wants to prove his love for me and talk about getting engaged.

My head is spinning from his emotional ups and downs. The biggest problem I have is that he loves his new job and will be away a lot. Now I am afraid that every time he is away that he will find another woman. He said that would never happen since we will be engaged, and not just dating. I don't know what to think, but please tell me your advice. Thanks, - Sandy

Dear Sandy,

There are some men that just can't be alone. Your ex-boyfriend sounds like one of them. Remember, you were only dating him for six months, which is not a lot of time to get to know the true personality of a person. Then on his first trip away from you, after already discussing you would not cheat on each other, he "found his soul mate."

What probably happened was the trip was ending and the older woman knew this wasn't going to be a lasting relationship and dumped him. Now he is going to do his best in trying to get you back.

However, he already hurt you and broke the bond between you both. I agree with you that every time he goes away, you will probably wonder if he is looking for someone else. Just because you are engaged and you will be wearing an engagement ring, he will not be, so what difference does that make? He has already proved that he has cheated once.

He doesn't sound very stable to me, and I would suggest you find a more stable guy in a different line of work than he is in. "Once a cheater, always a cheater," is a line I remember my mom always saying!

Best of luck to you and stay strong. There are plenty of guys out there and they do not cheat! If you are looking for a committed relationship, remember all the great guys in my program are looking for the same. Come in and meet with me if and when you are ready. - MTN

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