You could say Christmas has come early, as 2019 has provided us with some world-class turkeys we're most definitely not thankful for.
There is no shortage of turkeys this Thanksgiving. It seems many villages are missing their idiots, most of who have moved to Hollywood or Washington or represent the so-called Royal Family.
Turkey 1 - Prince Andrew
Prince Andrew.
Not even close in the race for top bird this year. Step forward your royal lowness, Randy Andy!
Did he seriously think he could go on national television in the U.K. and convince a gullible audience that his friendship with pedophile pimp Jeffrey Epstein and his underage coterie of girls could somehow be explained away?
Not since Bill Cosby tried to say all his drugged dates were harmless has such an idiot showed up.
Read more: Give thanks this year for exposing royal sex abuser and DUP bullies
Turkey 2 - Rudy Giuliani
Rudy Giuliani.
Not content with sparking the pre-election FBI reopening of the Clinton probe in 2016 that cost Hillary Clinton the election, Rudy is trying to abort democracy once again along with Russian and Ukrainian gangsters.
Hard to believe this guy was once a deserved American hero after 9/11. Now he is hanging with the Russian and Ukrainian mob seeking to subvert American democracy once again. Here’s hoping he will be doing his own version of the perp walk soon enough.
Turkey 3 - California Congresswoman Katie Hill
California Congresswoman Katie Hill.
She was a huge star on the rise in the Democratic Party before details of her threesome tryouts hit the national media. She handled the fallout very poorly and oops! there goes another promising political career.
Turkey 4 - Senator Lindsey Graham
Senator Lindsey Graham.
After initially rejecting Donald Trump’s hateful “divide and conquer” and “greed is good” rhetoric, he has become the president’s biggest brown noser in the Republican Party - quite a title.
Graham is taking every opposite position on impeachment that he took when he led the anti-Clinton forces back in 1998 and has twisted himself into a pretzel in the process. No attack is low enough, no perceived slight is small enough for Lickartist Lindsey to attempt for the greater honor of Trump.
Turkey 5 - Former House Speaker Paul Ryan
Former House Speaker Paul Ryan.
A spectacular career plunged to the ground when he stepped down as speaker and saw his party annihilated in the 2018 elections. In 2019 it’s been “Paul Who” as the man who once looked likely to become president someday has completely disappeared.
Turkey 6 - Senator Kirsten Gillibrand
Senator Kirsten Gillibrand.
She looked to be the obvious female vote-getter in the Democratic primary, but the New York senator’s ambitions crashed and burned before a vote was cast. Loudly interrupting and long meandering answers did not help her cause, but it was well past the time when she finally got off the stage.
Turkey 7 - White House Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney
White House Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.
White House Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney started 2019 as one of the most powerful men in America given his closeness to President Trump. By year’s end, however, he was the fall guy, very much the one being finger pointed as responsible for the Ukrainian/Biden debacle.
Mulvaney is said to be holding on to power by his fingertips. It’s a long way down for a man who seemed to have a very bright career ahead just months ago.
Read more: Express your gratitude with these Irish phrases this Thanksgiving
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