ESPN has gone to great lengths to report on how Michael Jordan had it all wrong, LeBron James can dribble left, or right, or something. Here's an exclusive sneak peek at their forthcoming follow up report on which side of the bed LeBron likes to get out of in the morning. Let's find out!!
A very ESPN snap of LeBron James |
LeBron James thinks Michael Jordan's scouting report on which side of the bed he likes to get of in the morning is wrong. And James keeps proving it. Yes, we at ESPN are supposed to be impartial, but, we frequently write sycophantic sentences like, 'and James keeps proving it'. ESPN recently asked some guy called Michael Jordan which side of the bed The King, LeBron James gets out of in the morning. Laughably, this guy, this random Joe Punter, Michael Jordan or whatever his name was, said that he thought, and we are snickering just saying this, that LeBron likes to get out of bed on the right hand side of said sleeping device.
Within days of the story coming out, LeBron, simply put, got out of bed on the left hand side of the bed.
Just. Like. That.
The very next day, LeBron did it again, hopping out of bed on the left side, as if he was mocking the guy who made the comment, whoever he was. We can't even remember. Mickey Jordache or something?
The King - LeBron James |
Appraised of the guy's comment by a drooling, slathering ESPN reporter, LeBron tilted his crown to one side and let out a Doctor Hibbert like laugh.
"That theory is wrong, I guess," James said of the Jordan report.
According to Synergy Sports, James has got out of bed on the left side 50.5% of the time in 2013. When he got out on the left, he had toast with his cereal 54% of the time. Among the 52 players who got out of bed over 50% of the time in 2013, James had the best efficiency of getting out of bed in the league. The data shows James really likes getting out of the bed on the left side.
"Frank Walker, my first sleeping coach, taught me how to get out of bed on the left side" James said. "He wouldn't let me get out of bed on the right, until I could get out on the left efficiently. We used to do it before practice every day. He always told me I'd be a much better player if I could get out of bed on the left side"
Tune into ESPN 9 tomorrow at 8 am, where we film LeBron getting out of bed on the left side. We're calling it; 'The Decision Two: Which side of the bed today?'
LeBron James |
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