One of the best players in College basketball is in hot water after pushing a fan during a game.
Oklahoma State’s Marcus Smart shoved a Texas Tech fan in the final seconds of the Cowboys' 65-61 loss to the Red Raiders on Saturday night. Naturally the Internet pretty much exploded in the aftermath of the incident, and various threads of the story are pushing outwards and upwards, like particles of an exploding star, and burning about as hot as same.
Why such drama?
Marcus Smart is adamant the fan used a racial epitaph when addressing him.
The more pragmatic amongst you might be asking ‘What is a middle-aged man doing talking trash with a young college kid anyway?’ but that’s a whole other story entirely. For now the chatter on the Internet is based around what bile spewed forth from the fan’s mouth.
There is a lot of background chatter on this subject. However if you cut through the noise, the most commonly accepted quote is ‘Go back to Africa!’
We can exclusively debunk that here and now.
We approached the Professor of Lip Reading from the University of Medicina, Acapulco, Mexico, Professor Frederick Von Buschenhauser, and asked him for his thoughts on the incident. Professor Von Buschenhauser said that "Clearly in this incident the plump, balding male, clinging on to his youth in the 1980’s, has referenced the band Toto’s song ‘Africa.’" If you follow the contours of his mouth you can see he is visibly saying "Go back and listen to 'Africa.' Possibly he wanted Mr Smart to appreciate the band Toto as much as he does. Again we should note that this is a balding, fat, middle-aged man taunting a college student, so perhaps he has some issues."
Professor Von Buschenhauser is possibly the most eminent Lip Reading expert from Germany with a degree from Mexico (at least top 5, definitely top 10), so when he has something to say on the subject, you know it’s good.
The Professor added that, "We can eliminate all other possibilities also because as you surely know, Africa is a continent, not a single county, so nobody would be stupid enough, not even a fat, lonely, balding middle-aged man, to tell someone to ‘Go back to Africa.’ Toto’s song is the only possible, logical reference. And of course, this explains why Mr Smart got so angry, he obviously just hates bad 80s music."
Call off the hunt. Rein in the drama. We can exclusively expose that the ‘fan’ in this incident was just very lonely and simply looking for Marcus Smart to be into the same, bad 80s music as he is.
Case solved.
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